A little humour - March 2008
1. Check before you help
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
2. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Well, your answer to this seemingly simple question can tell others a lot about who you are...
George Bush
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground regarding this chicken.
Martin Luther King
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Ernest Hemingway
The chicken crossed the road to die in the rain. Alone
William Gates
I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
Aristotle
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx
It was a historic inevitability that the chicken would cross the road.
Capt Kirk
The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken had ever gone before.
Sigmund Freud
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Albert Einstein
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
John Lennon
Imagine all the chickens crossing the road together…in peace.
Ralph Nader
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Andersen Consulting
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
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