A little English humour - December 2002
After a year of scientific research, the world's funniest joke has been revealed. The British Association for the Advancement of Science asked Internet users around the world to submit their favourite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings. Here's the winner:
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He shouts to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, reassuring voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The hunter picks up the phone again and says, "OK, now what?"
Americans and Canadians favoured jokes where people were made to look stupid. Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." Texan: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"
Europeans liked jokes that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage: A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' "But instead my mouth opened and I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"
Marriage also featured in the top American joke: "A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. "He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and lowers his head in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow!!! that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.' "The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"
Death earned big laughs in Scotland: "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
The survey revealed other fun facts: - Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least. - If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck. - The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick." Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
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