Top Tips - March
2008
Teams: 8 things that can go wrong:
Nº 6: Destructive communication patterns:
Teams can become like families and close friends, falling into bad habits without realising what is happening. A particular bad habit that it easy to fall into is using destructive communication patterns with each other. Here are some examples:
The put down: a conscious or unconscious intention to humiliate the other person; e.g. "You must be joking!" or "Unrealistic suggestions like that are typical of you, Mary."
The wind up: a conscious or unconscious intention to raise anxiety or fear; e.g. "People are predicting job cuts if your department doesn't make enough sales pretty quickly." or "I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when everyone takes a look at these figures." or "You messed up there, didn't you?"
The micro analyst: a conscious or unconscious intention to be superior and assertive; e.g. "I don't think you really believe that." or "You mean "and", not "but!".
These and other destructive comments can be reinforced by voice tonality. A team, like a couple, may develop its own private set or code of behaviours and ways of speaking to each other.
It can be relatively easy to break these patterns. The first step is to recognise them and then to bring their existence with concrete examples to everyone's attention. The next step is to find a fun way for people to police each other and eliminate them. Once people recognise the patterns and their destructive nature they will quickly understand how much these patterns waste time, energy and get in the way of constructive, creative communication.
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